Thursday, September 14, 2017

My Version Of Leadership

Leadership. Good leadership is lacking or being stifled in this world. We live in a place that is full of tyrants and general scumbags. This has nothing to do with what side of the aisle you face, either. Both sides are filled with trash. That said, the corrupt plague our workplaces, our social media channels, and our daily lives in ways big and small, not just our political standings.

So, what is leadership?

You can Google "leadership" and find post after post displaying people's beliefs. In my experience, leadership is made up of the following concepts:

  • Be Humble - you're not always right. Realize and accept it. No, really. It's OK.
  • Be Self-reflective - accepting that you're not always right, search within yourself. Be honest. Be better.
  • Implement Feedback - whether it's from self-reflection or from others providing you with insight, positive adjustment of YOU will only help.
  • Have Courage - to do the right thing, to listen to positive feedback, or to say no and disconnect, even when it's not what 'all the cool kids are doing'.
  • Give Honest Approval - all the positive changes going on around you deserve your approval equally as much, if not more than, the negative earning your disapproval.
  • Provide Positive Solutions - redirect negative situations away with impactful adjustments to fulfill your goals.
  • Be a Teacher  - leadership is learned. Educate others using the tools that you were given.
We can't all be Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., or Bill Belichick. Buy hey. you can just be you. 

Boundaries

It's unfortunate that so often a small group can misdirect us toward chaos. We cannot control their feelings or actions, but we can control ourselves. We can choose to disconnect from those who do not mean to improve us or our surroundings. We have the ability to say no, to remove ourselves from the chaos, or to provide solutions to calm the effects. We may still have to be around them, but we do not have to change ourselves for them. Rise above. I've had to learn this the hard way... and I'm still learning.

Acceptance

Above all else, leaders know and grow acceptance. It starts with acceptance of yourself. Once you can learn to accept your own faults and singularity, you can grow. If you can accept yourself, you can learn to accept one another.


Do great things. If you can't, do what you can:

"Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love." --Mother Teresa

Take care of one another.

Great Harvest Bread - Nashua - Review

Sunday, January 10, 2016

Random Rhythm 1

Controlled chaos... isn't it wonderful? This weekend, New Hampshire Drum Festival is hosting an all-ages event in Manchester, through the help of many fine sponsors, that will be just that. What's going on? Let me lay it out for you:

3 hats, each with a label.
Drummer.
Bassist.
Songs.

Each picked at random and expected to play together, perhaps for the first time, in this exhibition-style musical showcase.


What is it they have to play? Another great question! The songlist is quite eclectic. Check it out:


I Wish - Stevie Wonder

Crazy Train - Ozzy 

Heartbreaker - Led Zeppelin 

Born Under A Bad Sign - Albert King 

Peace Sells - Megadeth 

YYZ - Rush 

Smooth Criminal - Michael Jackson 

Ride the Lightning - Metallica 

Laid to Rest - Lamb of God 

Ain't Nobody-Chaka Khan 

Walking on the moon -The Police 

Come Together - The Beatles 

Fire - Jimi Hendrix 

Immigrant Song - Led Zeppelin 

Highway Star - Deep Purple 

Like what you see? Listen to the originals on Spotify!

Hope to see you there! It will be nothing short of amazing!

As always, raffle and free items will be available to all in attendance!

Thank you to our sponsors:
Evans, Promark, Vic Firth, Zildjian, DR Strings, Manchester Music Mill, D'Addario, Drum Center of Portsmouth, Rich Sticks, 247 Drums, Yamaha, Remo, Sabian, The Shaskeen Pub

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Adding Inches To My Pythons - A 2016 Goal

2015 draws to a close. Lots happened this year. I honestly don't remember what all of my resolutions were 360-some days ago. At this point, I'm not sure it matters. The past is just that.

So, what is this year going to bring? A new job. Perhaps a new residence. Maybe even a new truck. That said, here are a few goals I have:


  1. Be an awesome team player
  2. Provide insight others may not see that is worthy of everyone's time
  3. Willingness to learn from everyone's mistakes, including my own
  4. Settle for nothing less than I deserve due to impatience
  5. Accept that what I do get is indeed what was meant for me after plenty of hard work and perseverance
Also, other personal goals include:
  1. Learning the drum basics
  2. Getting involved in veteran homelessness, though I'm not sure how or where I would be best suited to help
  3. Having more get-togethers with those I hold near and dear with no shortage of laughter, love, and appreciation

Can I be honest? Daily routine has taken its toll on me. I need a change. Who is with me? I came to this realization when I was doing some work for a client of mine and came across two quotes searching for the right inspiration for their project:

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough


In the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take


So what does that mean? It means that if I'm not satisfied with my life as it is, it is no one else's responsibility other than my own to make it that one life to live. This is something that is a HUGE misnomer in our society. We are quick to point a finger at someone else for our own discomfort or lack of happiness. The fact is, if I'M not happy, I must go out and change MY situation. Not my neighbor, or my pops, or my high school buddy.

We all have something in our lives that we aren't pleased with. Perhaps a lack of education to get a dream job. Maybe it's taking the first step to getting a new job and getting out of a toxic company, which seems to be tougher than it should. It could even be confronting someone to find a way to improve communication, or even coming to terms with ones-self that you treat others disrespectfully and decide to seek professional help to improve your relationships. If it all seems overwhelming, find someone you can trust who will be honest with you, even if it is an unbiased 3rd party, and talk things through. 

Regardless of what it is, be thankful that it is 2016... you have 366 days to work it through. I know I'm looking forward to the extra day to add inches to my Pythons. 

In all seriousness though, pick a problem, figure out how to solve it, make the change, and repeat. Don't regret those chances you thought may have been initially too risky to take. Perhaps it is exactly what you need. Don't be afraid to fail. Don't think you have to fix everything all at once either. Make milestones of your most important items, set dates, and manage your progress. Forward movement, no matter how small, is better than sitting on your duff.

I truly wish you a happy and healthy 2016. Thanks for reading. All 3 of you =)

Thursday, December 3, 2015

An Unhappy Post

In the U.S., I have found the following facts regarding yearly deaths from four common sources that plague our news outlets. Feel free to click on the links I have provided:

Opioid deaths - tens of thousands
Alcohol deaths - tens of thousands
Suicide - tens of thousands
Gun deaths - tens of thousands

I'm not sure what to say. They all have fairly comparable numbers. I want to dive into this a bit. Talk it through.



It's an Epidemic

We all have been a part of someone's life that has ended far too quickly due to heroin or other opiates. Only they can choose to get help and stay clean.
Opiates: Illegal unless prescribed by a doctor. Prevention plans have been put in place to seek help and defeat drug addiction.

"Rethink your third drink"

How many of us have honestly driven home when we should not have? Honestly. If you read the stats on the MADD site, you may be astounded. Only YOU can choose to stay sober while operating a 1-2 ton vehicle. It is not someone else's responsibility to ensure you follow the rules. And like opiates, only you can choose to get help if you realize that this is a problem, and only you can choose to stay sober moving forward.
Alcohol: A strict limit has been set for legal driving while partaking of alcohol. Prevention plans have been put in place to seek help and defeat alcohol addiction.

"Permanent solution to a temporary problem"

I think many of us have been impacted by suicide too. Family. Friend. Ourselves. Life is tough. I'm not saying that it isn't. I've gone through divorce, splitting time with my child, living in my brother's basement, looking for a job. All at once. And that is nothing compared to those who may have been abused, seen war, have been drug and alcohol addicted, or any countless other things that impact our minds, bodies, and hearts. Only we can choose to overcome the thought, though. Only we can choose to get help, whether that be through counseling, prescriptions, meditation, or something else.
Suicide: No possible government regulation, but prevention programs have been set in place for those who seek them.

Cultural Control?

The debate of the year - gun control. Tougher laws to get guns. Removal of guns completely... I don't have the answers, and neither does anyone else, but Will it stop the violence? We cannot see the future, and yes, we can do our best to compare ourselves to other countries. Let's face it though: we are not them. We live in a society that is afraid of their own shadows. A place that cannot talk freely to one another for fear of racism, sexism, religious beliefs... IN A LAND THAT IS BASED ON FREEDOMS! A land where whites weren't supposed to be better than blacks, Christians better than Muslims, straight better than gay. A society that is so afraid to relinquish any further freedoms as, in many ways, we are already in a police state - traffic cameras, telephone, email, drones, satellites - that we many grit their teeth and hold on for dear life. Where everyone keeps asking for more, and nothing is being balanced. Where the popular vote doesn't matter anymore. Where politicians seem to regularly do what is best for them and their 'sponsors' rather than what is good for those who voted them in office to begin with. Where left cannot agree with right, and where the center is never heard.

Listen, I'm in the same boat as all of you parents: I don't want my son to die due to gun violence. To have to hide in a closet and be barricaded in a room among other defenseless children and staff. I cannot even begin to fathom what the parents of all of these events have to deal with every day. But do we take the guns away from the good people, the ones we probably don't hear enough about that defend their homes from killers and robbers, or their neighbors, or our children? The ones who go through all of the steps to be put under microscopes? And if we do, what is stopping the guns from entering our country like the opiates and other drugs from Asia and South America? As we have seen time and time again, the bad guys don't necessarily follow the laws. There isn't a single one of us right now that can state that either way is right.

What is it I'm trying to say? We are all human. We all have fear. We are passionate. We are all flawed. Maybe we do need tighter restrictions - screening for mental illness and depression as a basic example. This will not stop those who want to do harm to others though. Do we stop selling nails and ball bearings and pressure cookers to stop another Boston Marathon bombing from occurring elsewhere in the nation? Or fertilizer? Or stop flights from happening? Or close our borders? Or, as in a few of the topics above: end alcohol consumption (it didn't work in the past), and stop the drugs from entering the country (wait...).

You are right. Guns weren't made to start fires, or open a can of tuna, or even wipe your nose when you have a cold. Their soul purpose is to injure, maim, or kill. That fact cannot be denied, whether it be human or inhuman. The thing that scares me most is when the cards all get put on the table, and only the 'bad guys' are left toting firearms when they tell the law to suck a big one, what are we going to do? Hope law enforcement gets there in time? This isn't meant to be argumentative. These are real concerns.

This country is in a sad state of affairs. There are no right answers. People die every day,and the rate at which it is happening seem to be gaining speed. Almost like a butterfly effect. Walking hand-in hand are conjecture, hate, and fear. I can state my own beliefs, but that isn't going to fix the fact that we need to start finding solutions.

I just hope we find them soon.

Be safe everyone. Count your blessings. Share love. Find facts and don't believe the first thing you hear.

"Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success." --Henry Ford


Peace out.

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

What can I say, I'm thankful

For years on Facebook there would be this post going around having people state what they are thankful for. One item a day. I didn't see that this year, and well, Facebook doesn't control me so I'm going to do it on my own. Nana nana boo boo.



As we all know, being thankful should happen more than one day a year. That said, here is a list of both serious, and not-so-serious-but-still-awesome, things I'm thankful for.

  1. Good people - family, friends, strangers
  2. Bacon
  3. Fresh water - to drink and bathe in
  4. The gym (I have a feeling I'm going to be ouch-ing tomorrow... I'm still wiggly from my chest sets today)
  5. So many different genres of music to suit my mood
  6. Farm-to-table restaurants (including, but not limited to) Moxy and Pigtail
  7. Humbling moments to remind us we are humans when we often feel that we are gods
  8. Events in our lives that make us remember that we are loved when we feel unlovable
  9. Imagination and creativity
  10. Stories to share at bedtime with my son
  11. Cars - even though mine is on its way out
  12. Garages to park my car in when it snows
  13. The anticipation of picking out a Christmas tree to adorn our small apartment with
  14. Grocery store
  15. Opportunity to make a difference
  16. Faith
  17. Hope
  18. The ability to learn
  19. The ability to teach
  20. Sadness to make you appreciate joy that much more
  21. Technology that has improved everyday life
  22. Sunsets
  23. Bonfires and beverages
  24. S'mores with all the fixin's (Reese's PB Cups, Hershey's milk and dark is a great start)
  25. Nonsensical laughter of a 7 year old
  26. Shelter to stay out of the weather
  27. Razors to save my neck from that agonizing itch
  28. Family values, truth, honesty
  29. Past, present, and future defenders of our country
  30. Senses: The sound of the ocean, the glow of the moon, the smell of decaying leaves, the pant of a dog, the feel of fresh flannel sheets on a cold winter night.

There are so many more 'small things' that we overlook, and while we are told that we shouldn't sweat them, perhaps we shouldn't disregard them either. Feel free to add your own 'thankfuls' in the comments. I would love to see them!

Have a safe and wonderful holiday, everyone. 

Friday, November 13, 2015

Rookism Round 2 - INSTINCT

After the events of the day, I figure a bit of levity is in order. I often wish that I was a real superhero as depicted within the pages of the novels I am a character in to go out and relieve the world of terror and destruction.

"Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining, Knight."
"Hey, quit dry humpin' and get your shit together."
"Well, that's just shitabulous."
"Son of a bitch! Someone please tell me I did not just fucking die."
"You want to see how to make your enemy soil themselves?"
"You're not my type, big guy."
"You little death-cheating bastard."
"What, it's not enough to cheat at Go Fish? You have to cheat death, too?"
"Frankly, I don't give a rat's ass."
"I swear I can smell their shit-eating breath all the way up here."
"Back off, you nasty bitches!"
"What is this, a Martyr Gras parade?"
"He's.....he's fishing with Cha-Ka!"
"That's it, time for a beatdown!"
"Hell no! I just made all sorts of promises I couldn't keep, blah blah blah."
"What can I say? I'm a ladies' man."

I hope this revives some great memories and laughs from INSTINCT. The senseless acts of violence in Paris carried out by those despicable people will not be forgotten. Prayers go out to all peoples for peace and love to overtake this darkness.