Rookism Round 2 - INSTINCT

After the events of the day, I figure a bit of levity is in order. I often wish that I was a real superhero as depicted within the pages of the novels I am a character in to go out and relieve the world of terror and destruction.

"Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining, Knight."
"Hey, quit dry humpin' and get your shit together."
"Well, that's just shitabulous."
"Son of a bitch! Someone please tell me I did not just fucking die."
"You want to see how to make your enemy soil themselves?"
"You're not my type, big guy."
"You little death-cheating bastard."
"What, it's not enough to cheat at Go Fish? You have to cheat death, too?"
"Frankly, I don't give a rat's ass."
"I swear I can smell their shit-eating breath all the way up here."
"Back off, you nasty bitches!"
"What is this, a Martyr Gras parade?"
"He's.....he's fishing with Cha-Ka!"
"That's it, time for a beatdown!"
"Hell no! I just made all sorts of promises I couldn't keep, blah blah blah."
"What can I say? I'm a ladies' man."

I hope this revives some great memories and laughs from INSTINCT. The senseless acts of violence in Paris carried out by those despicable people will not be forgotten. Prayers go out to all peoples for peace and love to overtake this darkness.

Rookism, Round 1 - PULSE

For those of you who don't know, I'm a main character in a book series by the great Jeremy Robinson. I've known Jeremy the better part of 20 years, and through that time he and I have built a friendship few have. It's pretty awesome. But hey, I'm not here to talk about the mushy crap, let's get on to the good stuff.

Some of you have had the opportunity to meet me. A few may even consider my personality 'larger than life' (yes, I have been told that to my face. I thanked them.). He was looking for a character, and I guess I fit the bill! I don't even think I knew about it before he started writing. As much as I like to play it up, I'm still in disbelief. Surreal even.

Well, Jeremy knows me pretty well from all the time we have spent together, and has been able to get me down to a science. I was lucky enough to work with him while he was writing the first novel that was released in the series, PULSE, and he would just turn around (we worked in the same room together) and say, "Hey, 'situation-x' is going on, what statement would you make?" I would respond with something completely off the cuff, and it would get put in the book. Sure, some of it got edited out or tweaked, but it was such an amazing process.

Since starting this blog, I have been considering a section of 'Rookisms', the one-liners stated by my character. Some of these may not be for everyone, so if you are offended by profanity you may want to just hit Back. Otherwise, read on, Suckas! And hey, thanks to fans Abby and Kelly for getting this list together of their favorites. Good peeps, you are. I'm glad we got to meet at RobinsonFest 2015!

PULSE by Jeremy Robinson

1. "Talk about maximum shrinkage-it's so cold out here I might have to change my name to Susan."
2. "I have to do everything I s'pose. Bend over, ladies, here it comes."
3. "You horny rabbit. I didn't know you wanted kids."
4. "When he stops acting like a prick we'll be golden."
5. "I'm not a big fan of needles or haystacks. Put them together and I'm bound to get pissed."
6. "Ahh, save it for when your future wife sees your little pecker."

Want more context, or feel the need to read more Rookisms? Buy the book, the link is above. 

INSTINCT is next. Keep your eyes open for that within the next few weeks.