I just got finished watching I Am Chris Farley on Spike. I forgot how much I loved watching him. Matt Foley, Tommy Callahan, Gap Girls. I very much connected with him in high school. Often my fellow schoolmates would have me impersonate him (with little to no cue, mind you) and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Little did I realize his lack of self esteem, and while I knew he battled addiction it was quite painful to watch being reflected through the eyes of his friends and family for this special.
"John Hancock... it's Herbie Hancock."
Excuse the Language - WTF Drugs?!
This post, while not being about alcohol will quickly get into some adult language, so earmuffs... or blinders, kiddies. We all know that addiction is just a fact of life, right? Drug use isn't slowing down, and in fact new nasty types of these lovely pieces of S are hitting the street hard.
We see it in our mainstream media, whether that be TV, movies, or music. We can't get away from it, and we can't just push it aside any longer!
So what do we do differently? What are we doing wrong as a nation to continue seeing these things effect the lives of our friends, families, and neighbors? Is it because one just wants to belong to something bigger than what they feel like? Or want to cover pain? Or maybe because they are just plain bored?
Well, I'm sorry, but any excuse you can come up with is straight up BS.
"...Livin' in a van, down by the river!"
Get Help
Since graduation, I think I know of about a half dozen deaths due to drugs or alcohol from the class of 1998.
I'm sure there have been more that I missed.
We all have something we want to escape from in life. I know I do. But there is no escape.
It starts out in the shady part of the room, when you first lay eyes on whatever it may be. This is when it would be best to get help. Often, people don't.
Funny things happen and it gets kicked around, bounces off a wall or two, and makes it closer to the center of the room. You step over it, perhaps overlay a rug. Have you ever tried to vacuum a rug that isn't flat? As you vacuum, not only do you ruin the rug in that one spot that is raised, but you miss the dirt on either side never truly doing what you intended to do.
Refresh.
As the monster gets bigger, so does the weight on our hearts and minds. There are lots of ways to "forget" the weight we bear. Drugs, alcohol, and self-inflicted pain to name a few. It's funny though, the more we do to forget the pain, the more it tends to return like a screeching siren. Even when you thought you figured it out. Even when you thought you fixed it.
That seems to be what happened to Chris. That seems to be what happens to many.
Stop. Stop the cycle. Confront the beast.
Head on.
No mercy.
Get help. Seek a professional and talk through the problems before you dig yourself an early grave! Feel like it's too late? Are you reading this? Then it's not. Get help now. You were given the opportunity to make a difference today. Start by making it in your own life.
You are worth it
If you have gotten this far, don't stop. You have something to live for. Take a look in the mirror, or perhaps the reflection you see in your monitor. Look yourself in the eye! Don't be embarrassed. Don't be ashamed. We all have self worth. Believe it. Take it from me, I've had to learn it the hard way.
Know that you have gifts to share. Know that you have joy to spread. Know that you are loved.
Know that it starts from within.
Don't do it for me. Don't do it for your kids. Not your parents or your neighbors. Hell, don't do it for Chris Farley.
Do it for you.
The Clown's Prayer
As I stumble through this life,
help me to create more laughter than tears,
dispense more cheer than gloom,
spread more cheer than despair.
Never let me become so indifferent,
that I will fail to see the wonders in the eyes of a child,
or the twinkle in the eyes of the aged.
Never let me forget that my total effort is to cheer people,
make them happy, and forget momentarily,
all the unpleasantness in their lives.
And in my final moment,
may I hear You whisper:
"When you made My people smile,
you made Me smile."
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